I kind of wish that I had this marriage thing all figured out. Maybe one of these days I will, but I don't expect that to come for many, many more years...if ever. The thing that make this topic challenging for me to write about is that Eric and I are still figuring out exactly how to work together, what our roles are, and what it looks like to build our home together.
No matter where we are in this process, in the midst of the mundaneness or challenges in life, I try to remind myself that we truly are partners. We're on the same team. We're working together, not against each other, to build our home and to take care of our family.
Let me give you a little bit of background. Eric came from a family with four children close together. His dad worked and his mom stayed home and homeschooled the kids. Eric was homeschooled until high school and lived at home, with his parents and siblings, until even after we started dating (!!!). For most of my life, my mom worked full-time, raised my sister and I as a single mom, and took care of all the in-home and out of home jobs (as as a mom now, can I just say how much I truly admire and appreciate my mom?).
Our home life now looks very similar to Eric's did growing up, but we came into our marriage with drastically different life experiences and expectations. It's been challenging to work through the differences, but the more we communicate about our expectations and the more we both strive to serve one another the easier it is to work through our roles and our tasks in our home and family.
I struggle with the topic of "roles" that men and women should have. I don't want to alienate any working moms or single moms or any wives or moms, for that matter. Do I believe men and women are different? Yes. Do I believe we each have individual, differing, yet equally as important giftings? Yes. Ultimately, I believe the roles in a marriage and what it looks like to work together as partners is as unique and different as the two people making up the relationship. Put simply, do what works for you.
So, what works for us? As a stay at home mom my main role and responsibility is our home and children. I do almost all of the homeschooling, cooking, and cleaning. Eric works and provides for our family and helps out where needed and when necessary. He's always willing to cook a meal, do dishes, move the laundry along or brush teeth and give baths, but I am mainly in charge of all of the domestic responsibilities.
Cleaning a house or cooking meal after meal can feel like a tedious and thankless sometimes, but I try to remind myself that I am incredibly blessed to have a home and a family to take care of. These jobs that I don't particularly like are an act of service to my children, my husband, and, ultimately to God. That's why I do them and that's why I continue to try to do them with gladness.
Last week's post: Friendship and Romance