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One of my pet peeves is people that "hope" for a certain sex when they are pregnant, then are upset and disappointed when their baby happens to be the opposite of that sex. At the encounter the lesson that I've taught the most is called, "Healing Our Hearts." The purpose of the lesson is to forgive everyone that has hurt you and receive healing from any wounds that you have received. Wounds can happen even in the womb. Studies show that a baby in the womb can feel everything his mom feels. If his mom is disappointed and sad that she's having him (or her) that baby can definitely feel that.
Another reason this bothers is because of the comments I get. Seriously, all the time, people say to both Eric and I, "Were you hoping for a boy?" "Are you going to try for a boy?" "Whoa, three boys?!?" I can't imagine how hurtful that would be if the boys actually understood what they were saying. What if I was to say, "Yeah, I wish they were all girls. I can't stand boys." How damaging!
For the record, I love my boys! They are so sweet, and fun and funny. Nothing like me when I was little (although I was sweet and fun and funny, just in a more girly way.....right, Mom?) I would love to have another boy! (Although, not for awhile). I love that they pick up bugs, and play in the the mud. They are daring on the slides at the park and are so into pirates. Honestly, I can't relate at all. But, that's what makes it so fun. All of this boy stuff is such a mystery. And, so interesting.
All children are such an incredible blessing. I think we need to stop this mindset that the perfect family is only one with one boy and one girl. My family is perfect for me and I am so thankful to God for my precious boys.
you have some good points! I never said it out loud, but when I was pregnant, I wanted a girl. Which, I had. I would have been happy with any child, of course. But I kept hearing that old saying in my head " A boy is your son until he takes a wife, but a daughter is a joy for life".. It was silly of course as gender doesn't predict how your child will feel about you as they grow up. But I was hormonal and irrational at the time. I never thought about how kids would be effected by such comments, but I will be more mindful about saying such things to people from now on..
ReplyDeleteMy friend and I were discussing this very issue on Sunday - she has four boys and gets those comments constantly. She's sick of hearing, "Are you going to try for a girl?" When I was pregnant with my son, people would notice that I had a daughter already and say, "Oh a boy and a girl, now you can be done!" I just smiled, but inside was thinking, 'Children are a blessing! I'm not just trying to replace myself and my husband!'
ReplyDeleteWhat great points. I've been hoping for a boy next only cause a part of me has always wanted a boy & my hubby wants one so bad, but there are benefits to both sexes (Ava having a sister!!!), so I know I won't be disappointed no matter what.
ReplyDeleteAmen! I love that you have 3 boys and they are so different and yet similar. Each is unique in his own way and it's exciting to see who God has created and will create them to be. I can't wait to see what God has in store as far as siblings for Caed and to see who they become in the future.
ReplyDeleteThanks for posting this Morgan. I don't care how many boys or girls I get in the future as long as the kids God blesses us with are all happy, healthy, and full of joy and life!
Psalm 127 says that children are a heritage and that the fruit of our womb are a reward. If that is the case than no matter what God gives us should be fine. I get the questions all the time about if I am trying for another boy especially after having 3 girls. Me, I am just happy when the Lord blesses me with another little arrow for my quiver. I do know that feeling when people ask. Sometimes I get so aggravated I just smile and nod. It's better to bite my tongue than to say something I shouldn't.
ReplyDeleteI think it's perfectly natural to hope for a certain sex and people shouldn't be made to feel guilty when they're dissapointed that they aren't having whatever they wanted. Because the truth is, you can be dissapointed all you want but as soon as you have your child, any normal parent will forget all about their dissapointment and be completely content with their new child. When people ask me whether or not I wanted a girl I say, "yes, but I'm SO glad I got my boys"
ReplyDeleteComing from a family of 3 girls, my Dad got that comment all the time - "Too bad you didn't have a boy!" And he never felt that way! Now my sister has 3 boys and is always getting the "Are you going to try for a girl" question. She always says that God knows best and she's happy with what He gave to them! And you have another baby because you want another baby, not because you want a certain gender!
ReplyDeleteGood for you Morgan, to celebrate what (who!) God gave to you and Eric. Your boys are SO sweet and gifted... I'm sure you wouldn't change them for the world! And I agree with how you said babies feel what his/her mom feels, right from conception. Best to start them off with positive feelings and thoughts! :)
Hey Morgan,
ReplyDeleteYou don't know me... I'm a friend of Jessi's and came accross your blog from her site! I've actually been reading your posts for a little while now and am always encouraged by your passion for Christ. Anyway, I'm a fellow sister in Christ and my husband and I have 2 boys (12.5months apart) and I too have had so many comments about whether I'm going to try for a girl someday. I guess people just think it's the natural thing to ask... our culture teaches us to feel that it's normal to want one of everything... but scripture says for us to be content with what we have. I completely agree that children feel what their mothers feel in the womb. Anyway, I could go on about this subject but just thought I'd introduce myself... feel free to check out our blog too! Blessings to you and your family.
~Anita
I agree. I was always equally annoyed with the "now you have one of each" comments after John was born and people assuming we would be done having kids. Like there's no other reason to have more than two kids than to make sure you get one of each gender. Or people saying the only reason there's having another kid is to try for the other gender, it should be about wanted another child not about wanting a certain gender.
ReplyDeleteI always thought it'd be neat to have all boys. Of course I love my girls.
i totally agree with you. i always wonder if people really mean it when they ask if you what you're hoping for. you're having a baby, what more could you hope for??
ReplyDeleteyour boys are adorable and look so happy. you are a great mom =)
Oh, do I hear you..."Are you going to keep trying for a boy?!" If anyone asks me that ever again, I'll scream. Not only is there no guarantee for a boy, but why does everyone assume we're unhappy with our girls? We have 3 girls and we are incredibly blessed and happy. God gave us what He knew was right for our family. Period. End of discussion.
ReplyDeleteeveryone told me that Owens don't have girls... and that was fine with be because I wasn't a girly girl... I was a messy braty tom boy lol... but when I was told that I was going to have a girl I loved it... because it was a big old nanner nanner nanner to everyone that told me that Owens don't have girls... and I think they are all super happy that she is a girl... a very daring sword swinging crazy girl lol...
ReplyDeleteAnd while I would love to get pregnant again... and it be a girl... just so I can use Lore's clothes over again and they could share a room... I know that Jeremy would love a son... but I know that he is completely in love with having a girl... well until she whacks him in the nuts with the sword lol... but I was just happy to be pregnant after 7 years of nothing...
Hi Morgan... thank you for voicing something I've felt with each pregnancy after the first. I'm mama of four beautiful busy baby boys... not babies anymore literally, but always will be mama's babies. Let me say that God created me as such a girly girl and in HIS wisdom, compassion, and maybe even humor, HE blessed me beyond measure with 4 sweet boys. A woman never feels more like a girl than in a house full of boys. Never did I long for one gender over the other... just healthy. This is my portion, this is my lot... and with that I know I am blessed. I don't even imply that I resign to "contentment"... no, I actually delight in my portion. Thank you for sharing your joy Morgan in your boys.
ReplyDeleteHi Morgan again... I'm the one who posted the anonymous... I couldn't figure out who to attach my identity until now... I appreciate your transparency and realness in your posts.
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